Yes George … You told me … But I was only trying …
But … But … But … Yes George … I’ll try harder … You did warn me …
Ok what about music … I was thinking about turning some of my poems into songs … Oh too much politics you say?
Nature … Oh … Birds and bees fall under that sex category? … I see.
What can I talk about?
No sex … No religion … No politics …
Not much left is there George?
I do have this very old book … Dusty … Torn … Musty
A gift from my dearly departed long-gone favourite person … My Grandma
Surely George … Nothing written in 1923 could possible be unrepeatable today … Could it? Hmmm … Here on page 4 is a blurb for a Proctor and Gamble product … Ivory Soap … Imagine George
“Can good soap ruin a delicate silk blouse or a chiffon negligee”
Hmmmmm … What do you think George? On I go
“or even a woolen sweater – in one washing?
Yes, of course it can! Good soap may not be good enough!
How, then, can you tell — before you run the risk — whether or not any particular soap is good enough — whether it will ruin your really precious garments? Of course, a white soap is needed.”
That’s not offensive is it George?
“Here is a simple test that will prove soap safe or unsafe as easily as you tell night from day:
Would you be willing to use that soap. On your face?”
Like it George? You don’t suppose it would offend anybody? But boring is good too. Boring is hardly likely to offend many people — for one thing if it is boring enough or tedious enough or long- winded enough — well George who would bother reading it?
Ah now I get it — brilliant George … The acceptable blog must be so boring that nobody will read it so nobody will know what it is about. That way everybody will say they love it … Or hate it … Depending upon the writer … because they will be too embarrassed to admit that they didn’t even read it. Ok … more George?
“Think of Ivory Flakes in this way.
At once you are sure, for Ivory Flakes is just Ivory Soap in flake form — the very same Ivory Soap that millions of women during two generations have found mild and gentle for the skin.
What a relief it always is when a woman first realizes that with Ivory Flakes she need no longer fear for the safety of her most precious garments!
A teaspoon or so of these delicate, petal-thin flakes; instant suds; a few moments of dipping and squeezing — and the gentle cleansing soap has done its work — safely, yet thoroughly.”
Isn’t that lovely George? So inpirational … True art!
“Ivory Flakes is economical enough even for the family washing, but it has that unique margin of safety which distinguishes its use for the washbowl laundering of exceedingly precious garments.
May we send you a small package of Ivory Flakes with our compliments and a useful booklet of washing and ironing suggestions? You will find the proper address in the upper right-hand corner.”
Sure enough George — there it is — the adress: Section 15 AF, Dept of Home Economics, The Proctor and Gamble Co., Cincinnati, Ohio.
What do you say George … Suppose the free sample is still availabe?
… Nearly 90 years later … There is no expiry date that I see … There is a copyright notice … I imagine it would have expired by now however. Where did I hear that copyright expires after 50 years?
November 14, 2012 Wednesday