Month: November 2013

Granny Farmers Market

Granny has opened a Farmers Market. It is a big empty hall with tables. A vendor at each table operates a micro-business.

Isn’t That Sweet

Yummy, Cookie Pies

American Soaps, Natural too

You Don’t Say
George, do you think Granny is stuck between successes again?
A market, she says! Now what kind of a market is that? She needs more than a few vendors. The weather? Blame it on the weather? What about poor planning, George? What about that?

Hmmmm needs a special feature … Yes sign up for craft class. Reasonable rates, I think. Sign up here

Let’s see if we can find Granny a few more vendors.

Toto Treats

Sunset Sandwiches

Granny Groceries

Purple Cow

Granny Art Prints

Vintage Granny

Granny T-Shirts

Granny Story Books

Gourmet Granny

Memphis Granny

Granny Hugs

Well Fed Granny

Granny Dress-up

New York Granny

Granny Squares

Missouri Granny

Ahoskie Granny

Nashville Granny

Image

Advertisement

Granny Must

Granny must

  • Do something awesome
  • Have

If Granny is going to do something awesome … Maybe she needs to start working on her … Hmmm well this habit she has of stopping mid-sentence … Well pausing, if you must insist, George.

What do you mean … Pause for the cause!

That is ridiculous! George and you know it.

OH! You mean Granny is thinking about tea?

And pausing for a cuppa tea is a metaphor?

Hmmmmm …OK let’s begin again …

1. Have a cuppa tea
2. …Think Wow … a whole new day to enjoy
3. Work on the Libretta
4. Dig out that old dictionary
5. Think about costumes for rock opera
6. Play violin

About this list of Granny’s … Her must do list I guess is what it is. Might she not consider something practical?

Well … Explaining herself for a start … Nobody can get through life depending entirely on metaphors and pauses and such silly expressions as hmmmm … Can they?

And what on earth does Granny mean by TH?

Another metaphor? Meaning what exactly?

Oh, now she is waiting for the Harper? TH means “Tea With The Harper”, does it? And you say she is working on the song? Doesn’t that sound a bit too much like something … way way back … something by Cat Stevens? Different tune? I see.

7 Days to Grace

This is Granny’s next work-to-come … Granny’s own peculiar way of saying work-in-progress.

Granny will be posting a call … Pay? …  How about Equity?

 

Meanwhile, Granny is working on her Libretto

Libretto page 1

Act 1 …

Scene at Granny’s
Scene: the outside of a quaint obviously handbuilt house covered in multi-coloured patches of paint.

… On the sidewalk at the corner of the house three teens are loitering by a section of old fence over-run with vines
They find an old can hidden under the fence and begin kicking it back and forth between them

The kids are complaining that they are bored with nothing cottage,to do

*SONG (Need a song about this)

Bored bored nothing to do
What can we do
What is the use
Of a cottage by the sea
When it has
… when it has
…
When it has
No hook-up
No connection
No TV no games.

We have no connection

They look at the house
Why does this house
Not have a connection
Actually it appears as though the house may not even have electricity … No Power lines or telephone lines appear to connect to the house.
All the other house have plenty of lines and cables linking them all together (this would be obvious from images projected onto screens.

That was yesterday. Today is today. Granny needs help. Granny needs to post a call. Will anyone help Granny?
Please … Anyone … Granny wants to post a call for her Rock Opera. She has seven days. How does she offer equity? Granny has no idea how to go about this. Will anyone help Granny?

This is Day 2 of 7 Days of Grace.

Yes, day 2 and Granny discovers something about equity. It is not what she thought it was … Not an exciting positive thing at all … Really Granny would rather not be so Glum. The world already contains way way too much glum. Whooooa … Thinks Granny has this been going on for 100 years? Shouldn’t a 100 year birthday be cause for celebration?

Hmmmm …OK … Time to re-write. Time to talk about Granny-style equity … Joint venture … Partnership … Fair share ownership … That is how Granny sees equity.

Day 3
Is it day 3. If Granny gets a bit absent minded sometimes … Please have patience. She has so much to do and so little time to do it. There are so many … Too many … Causes? Some might say lost causes. Granny refuses to accept that idea. Granny has dreamed a Dream and there is no stopping her now.

While the three teens are looking at the house The front door of the house opens and in the doorway is a little old lady dressed in an outfit as multi-coloured as her house. In her hands and supported by an ornate strap around her neck is what looks like a harp but it has only a string or two.

As the little old lady moves slowly towards the three teens she strums the strings and begins to hum a strange, slightly mournful and solemn
quite unfamiliar tune but in a very loud voice, shockingly loud and deep to hear coming from the mouth of such a small woman.

Granny and the Seven Deadly Sins Bears

Once there was a Granny who went in search of Seven Deadly Sins jokes.  Of course it was not long before Granny discovered that this was really much fun. What happened was that Granny soon discovered that Seven Bears were less trouble to deal with.

The conclusion Granny reached was that 

You cannot tell the real story without naming names …
So granny asked the first bear: what is your name good sir?

The bear gave Granny a quizical kind of look and replied:
My name is Greed.

G:And what is your story?
G:what do you mean?
G:Everyone has a story.

Greed then asked Granny which story she wanted to hear. Greed was the sort of bear that often made that sort of offer because he realized that many people would only listen to the sort of story they wanted to hear.

Not a story, An opera, said Granny, I wish you help me with my opera. Tell me how I go about building a great opera … One as great as … Hmmmm … The Divine Comedy

Do you realize, responded the Bear, how very Greedy you sound?
You are asking for too much. Why do you ask for something so impossible?

G:Why impossible?
G:Too big, too expensive, too difficult … You on the otherhand are too insignificant. Imagine trusting an unknown Granny with the resources to create something akin to the Divine Comedy!

Well then … Whwt if I start with something … Let’s say along the lines of Tartuffe? Wet my slippers on that first.

You are persistant!

Well, said the Granny, I’ve a lot of time to make up for and only so many years left … Besides who else is doing anything to provide jobs. Think of all the more jobs we could provide with some project like the Divine Comedy. We might even hire John Lennon … George Harrison … Johnny Cash … Chet Atkins …

But aren’t they all gone … Somewhere … How could you include them?

There is my point … Anything is possible if you dream big. And since they don’t need the money … We’ll donate it to my favourite cause … ME!

Granny … You are just plain greedy

Granny Mandate

Peace and love and all the good stuff Boomers like … Oh yes … Ads … Boomers love advertising … Always did … more shamless promotion … Yes shamless … Clean … Honest … Artistic … not Bizarre … creative … nice lines … elegant … No deceit … No deliberate attempts at the subliminal sleaze … Serendipity is OK … Accidentals … Hmmm advertise fair trade … Especially tea … Ok, George?

Any free music ?

maggiequinn

What? Well a mandate is like a political promise … Sort of … Something somebody has on a to-do list … Might never get done however … Hmmm many reasons … Time … Money … Influence …

By the way, you were wondering about the Seven Deadly Sins? Sorry George I have no Seven Deadly Sin jokes for you today. Ask me that tomorrow.

View original post

Granny Mandate

What? Well a mandate is like a political promise … Sort of … Something somebody has on a to-do list … Might never get done however … Hmmm many reasons … Time … Money … Influence …

By the way, you were wondering about the Seven Deadly Sins? Sorry George I have no Seven Deadly Sin jokes for you today. Ask me that tomorrow.

Imagine Granny as Queen

Just imagine a place where Granny is a queen

What’s that, George?
You wonder, do you? You wonder whether we have Grannies who are treated like Queens in New Brunswick?

Not exactly … You might say that Grannies have been the heroines … Errr that is the same as heroes … Don’t you know? …

Taking up the slack … Doing so much work … unpaid unsung and unknown … Hmmm … The Grannies might say … Somebody has got to do it otherwise it won’t get done …

What it is like … Living in New Brunswick … an NB lifer

What if all those good kind Grannies of New Brunswick were to go on strike? Who would raise the funds for all those organizations that bring hope to communities?

Would taxes go up because government had to hire more staff to take care of people in hospitals … Feed people in homeless shelters … Would there be more old folks falling out of windows in special care homes?
And who would cook the meals and nurture the grandkids while mum is off to work or school?

And who would play music in the homes and churches? Who would provide respite care for an invalid spouse or aging parent? Who would spend countless hours in a palliative ward?

Who?

Granny Gathering

Granny is not alone.  Let the Granny gathering begin.

 

So … Where are the grannies who know something

… Who knows anything about investing in food for thought? How do you choose a lemon ?

… Who knows how to find good help raising money to produce a rock opera? Can we really trust someone named Zac?

… Who knows when and when not to trust

… Who knows about trust funds ?

… Who knows the meaning of a job well done, well paying and
just as well ?

… Who can do Granny-math

… And … Who can beg!
Speak up Grannies!
What do you want?

This?
This?This?This?This?This?

This?

Or This?

Peace in the Valley


The Eureka Notion

Eureka

A woman senior is especially vulnerable.
100% of 0 is 0. That appears to be how the world has balanced her worth.

...
...
...
...
...
...
$00000000.00

Yeah ... Though she walk through the Valley of Death ... All evil surrounding the Granny will just melt into the background.

 

hmmmm ... That how it goes George ... Well Ok so I might have changed the words somewhat.

It is that time of year again, George ... Cold ... Dark ...

The Granny will soon be house-bound. Cabin fever? Some might call it that. It is the whole dismal attitude of everyone else scurrying about their own business, getting all dressed up and going to Christmas parties and Granny spending most of her time alone.

Christmas gifts too are a problem for Granny ... She used to love making simple little gifts. These days everybody wants either expensive gifts or violent games or sleazy clothes or money.

Even something like grocery shopping becomes a challenge at this time of year.

Every time she goes out to shop she gets pushed and shoved to the back of the line by people who are aggressive ... Then when she finally gets to the cash she is usually ignored by the cashier who suddenly turns her back on the Granny to have a conversation with the clerk at another cash. If she were able to pick up a wee bit of gossip from all these conversations it might not be so bad but for some reason the clerks and cashiers always speak in a language that Granny neither speaks nor understands. Then the clerk, still without looking at her, still talking to someone else, passes Granny her change and turns to the next customer in line.

Is Granny invisible? Why do they not look at her ... Why do they not smile and treat her like someone special ... As they once did when she was young and ever so lovely? Why do they treat her like she is invisible?

That is what hurts the most. Being invisible ... Like somehow they are letting her know that she already has one foot in that Valley and it's good riddance old bag.

So Granny stops going out to shop and her family says it's because she is getting too old and cranky and no longer is interested in making an effort to live a normal life.

Granny muses on the word 'normal'. Is that one of those chameleon words, Granny wonders.

While everyone else is making plans to go South for the winter, Granny will be left home alone because after all who wants to take an old Granny on vacation. Maybe this year Granny should get together with another old Granny or two and they could take their own vacation.

but could Granny do it? What about the planning? The Money? Would this be safe? And really ... What is Granny to say when people start asking "Do you know the way to San Jose?"
Maybe ... But Hmmmmm why does that remind me of an old 60s song

Where how when ... first California ... Then Granny does her world tourThe Silk Road ... that is where Granny would go next. She would take a journey along the silk road.

...
To be continued ...