First justice.
Where is the manual?

If that doesn’t work?
What do we do?
Call out the Canadian National Guard?
We have a Canadian National Guard?
Well … Maybe not … But we have Grannies … Lots of Grannies … And more in training … All across North America. began in Canada … did you know?
One of these years we Grannies will be in the majority … Then just watch us! Hmmm … Who said that

What happened to the Canadian Guards? Does anyone know?
Does anyone Remember?
What if the Grannies adopted their badge and wore them for Canada?
Is there a song?

Hmmmm … Guess this Grannie will just have to write a song and call it Ad Mare Usque ad Mari. Errrr … How about Ad Mari first … Followed by Ad Mare … Does it make a difference? Does anyone ever listen to the words anyway?

No more than they ever listened to the Grannies … One might suppose there would have been some respect for the grannies who taught them … Or tried to teach them the value of a peaceful world. So where are all the grannies that were attached to the Canadian Guards

H… That song … Can’t forget the song … We really need a song.

To rally the grannies? That too. Most of all we need to show respect for the Grannies who stepped back and let others go ahead of them … who raised the children … Who built up the libraries and raised money for schools and churches … who worked for all those non-profit organizations … who dedicated their lives as volunteers … Making Canada a better place.
… Now those grannies need help. Who is helping the Grannies?

Ok let’s try to write the Ultimate Granny Song

Before every guard
There is a Granny
Singing loud and free
A mari usque ad mare

Beside every guard
There is a granny
Singing singing
Help us to …

Behind every guard
There is a Granny
Singing out singing out
A Mari usque ad mare

Though the Grannies were never honoured
Though no plaques
With their names appear
Be assured they did their share
To keep our country free

Grannies of the World Unite

Yes George. It is time.

The GU Conference of course. Perhaps the name could use some tweaking … From UG to HUG … Honourable Union of Grannies. After all, what is a Granny if not huggable?


We are now thinking about the book. If the Forward is to be written by a Granny … Who should write it?
One of the world’s many could do it.

Oops … Sorry … Granny volunteers are no longer available.
They are looking for an instruction manual

But … Why are they on their knees?

Oh well … No doubt they have a good reason.

Soon be time to get up off those knees, Grannies.

Let the Great Gathering of Grannies begin.

Where? Canada … Where else? And why? Because Canada is about understanding. Since Grannies have great need to be understood in these trying times, then Canada is the obvious location for the Grannies to gather. Respect too is something Canada can offer.

Pension security? George says he is giving it some sober second thought.

Justice? Grannies hope so … Needing work … A real fixer-upper

Canada will do as Canada does … In culture, education, politics, health, on and on … Invite American Experts … In this case, perhaps a good choice might be the California Grannies

Canada will not fail the Grannies. Besides, Where else can you get a good cup of tea these last many years? “Only in Canada”, as some might say.

So George is reaching out across the globe to gather in the grannies. The Granny sites is where George begins his quest.

Here is a Farming Granny in Maine

Granny-Bot… well not really a granny site except for the quote:”as Albert Einstein says: “You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.”” … So … What do you not understand about grannies? Maybe try and think of Grannies as belonging to a sub-culture or a threatened species. Offer understanding and respect not platitudes. Some Grannies might be deaf but that doesn’t mean they are dumb.

As a matter of fact or fiction, according to George the Magpie, the discovery of the Granny-Chip is just around the corner.

Canada Grannies – Lost in transit … Now that cannot be true … can it? Where are all the Canadian Senior sites? Grannie sites seem to thrive in some other countries…. Why not in Canada? Suppose it is the brand of tea we drink? That hardly seems likely … does it?

And what about Art Support? Does Canada’s Arts Community support Granny Artists? So … where are the practicing Granny Artists? Are they busy doing other things? Making invisible art? Volunteer work? Cutting red tape?

I found one nice Canadian site…
Canada Gold … CARP … Not sure what the letters C.A.R.P. stand for …believe it is an organization for people 50+ in age.
The site talks about issues such as … Pension reform … Retirement security … Job Opportunities … Stable employment … Investor protection … CARP AGM tomorrow October 24th.

Grannies in … Africa A Canadian site in support of African Grandmothers.

And … anyone wishing to help Canadian Grannies produce the film,
Raging Grannies a donation would surely be appreciated.

Alabama A granny who plays the piano, loves gardening and blogs so nicely.

Traveling grannies with a gypsy heart and soul. A travel guide for Grannies who dare to trek the globe alone.

South Africa Just imagine a world conference of Grannies at this delightful- sounding retreat.

San Francisco A Granny is never too old to learn something new … and here is a blog that is wonderfully colourful as well as interesting and educational.

There was a
Granny photographer
from 1930s Germany who worked into her nineties. The quarter of a million pieces of the collected work of Leni Sonnenfeld and her husband Hebert were donated to Beit Hatfutsot, the world Jewish cultural museum located in Israel.
An Amity Conference sounds like something many a Granny could appreciate if she were invited to attend.

New York
Norwood, MA
Somewhere, last April
Massachusetts, November 1

Who in the world is Granny Smith?

Whether they are knitting or crocheting, Grannies who create and piece together all those squares and hexagons are making our world a cozier place for all.
The Granny Hex
The Granny Square.
More Granny Squares
more Squares than Grannies

The Granny Spirit An Ojibway woman from Northern Ontario tells the story of her Granny through film.

Techno Granny A creative journalist Granny who works in new and social media.

India Granny Students in India show respect for their Grannies.

Western States Granny Grannies in America go in search of their ancestral heritage.

West Virginia Granny a Granny blogs about a great writers conference that draws in artists and musicians as well as other Granny writers.

American Granny Abuse

Canadian Granny Abuse

Writer of the Potomac Granny

Button Granny

Kitchen Granny

Vintage Granny

Raging Granny

Granny with with with …Hmmm … Something

Granny Blog

Iowa Granny

Cosmic Granny

One might almost think of a Granny Convention as a whole new category. It might be nice to invite people who are not quite there yet but will be one of these fine years. Let’s think of them as Grannies in training. The more they learn about what to expect when they age, the better prepared they will be. Considering that you might spend half a century of life being a Granny, is it really ever too soon to start the training, especially if you are thinking about downsizing, and moving into one of those cozy little Granny Homes?

There might be many unknown Global Granny groups already formed.

It might be interesting to compare the pensions of Canadian and American Grannies. Not all Canadian Grannies are Snowbirds and not all of them might have as nice a home to live in as does the First Granny

It seems that the Grannies in Canada receive a higher pension than Grannies in Russia.

There have been many Heroine Grannies who left their home countries in search of a better life. Imagine a Grannie Convention with these Grannies sharing their stories. There must be more than one poor Russian woman who became a successful American business tycoon like the woman who might have said something like, “I dreamed that I went to a Granny Convention in my Maidenform bra”.

Library Granny There must have been Grannies Galore at the ISASA Conference held in South Africa during April 2013. Wonder whether you would say a flock or a gaggle … Guess we’d need to ask a librarian.

Peace Granny
Grannies across America are knitting stump socks for amputees. Get your sock pattern here.

Voice Granny June Foray has had a long and unique career projecting the voice of some of our long-tme favourite cartoon characters. Her book is now available on Amazon.

Could there be a just causelooking for a Granny filled with Hot P and Vinegar?
What on earth! Who let her in here?

Granny ConferenceMinister of International Development and Minister of the FrancophonieMinister of International Development

Yes George … Our time has … Well it should have arrived. Did you hear?  Big conference … Beginning of November … Paris, France.  Guess it is about time to get together and talk about important things … Well important to this Granny … Things like education and culture and science.  People from all across the world will be there.  Canada?  Oh yes Canada has someone speaking … Hmmmm not sure what a lawyer from Quebec has to tell the world about education, culture and science … Especially since he is the Minister of International Development and Minister of the Francophonie. … Oh well I suppose that is where the … Oh never mind, George … he may just be the closest thing Canada has to a Culture Minister Or an Education Minister.

Who is it? Glad you asked! George. Name is Paradise or something. 


for us …


Who? Who else is going?

For us Grannies! Is that what you mean? I kind of wonder too … Although he may be some sort of honorary Grannie in his own province … Lets face it … Not all the grannies in Canada live in Quebec … So who is speaking for the rest of us?
Where are all the Real Grannies of Canada? Who will be at that Conference to speak for us?

Lots of Grannies I hope! How do we get a flock of Grannies at the conference, George? You are right. Maybe the Manual has some advice to offer.

Where is that old manual … The one … You know …
THE MANUAL that goes with the Harper?

Have you heard? The Grannies are hardly able to drum up any interest in politics … Not since they discovered Granny-Hack

Where is the Grannie who might take the time and trouble to read the fine print in all those regulations and understand the nuances of statistics and explain to the rest of us Canadian Grannies just why it is necessary to have so many guests and government spokespersons speaking broken English and French on CBC. And why would Francophone contractors be hired to produce English Documentaries? Does Radio-Canada contract English speaking film makers to produce French documentaries? Quality of language in any society is only ever as good as the quality of the voices that are heard.

Heroes Wanted

Well George … Where do you suppose we find heroes … A Hero Job Fair … Where else?

No such thing as a Heroes Job Fair? Are you sure? Well maybe there should be …

As an example … over but not out …

What about jobs in Canada? Good jobs … Honest jobs.
What do you mean! There must be some good honest jobs somewhere in Canada.

Well of course We need heroes in government … No that is not an oxymoron, George. Whether in government or in Rock Operas … We need heroes.

What sort of Rock Opera could there possibly be without heroes?

Can an artist or author be a hero do you think … And still get paid … In Canada or are we still expected to … OK … Nuf said

Thinking … Maybe what we need first … A good lawyer with a sharp pair of scissors … Oh yes … With acting experience.

A manual … Do we have an operator’s manual for lawyers.

Good question .

Teamworkers? One might have Hope that heroes can work
together … That is what we need … real teamwork.

So … Tentative Plan of action …
1. Peruse the lawyer manual while conducting a search for a dedicated and talented … Oh yes … Honest lawyer … That was not funny, George. Mind your tongue.
2. Start building a potential list of artists and techies.
3. Flesh out the script.
4. Start planning the time-schedule.

Suppose that will do for now George? Hmmmmm seems we are going to be too busy to end our partnership for a bit … Huh George?


Here in Canada? How does it go? Something about No news is good news? Does that make sense.

Considering how the news is being filtered … Big Brosister you mean? Hmmmmmm 

What is a poor old Granny to do?


So George, what do you think?  


Quality Control … I think quality control might be worth looking at George. All the old Grannies of the world … after having lived so long and seen so much … Well surely grannies must have some idea about quality. How about a world-wide grannie consultation on quality control?

And since quality control begins with education. Well, yes, George. If there is no quality control in education, how do we teach future generations to distinguish between real medicine and snake oil. Grannies need to wake up and realize that one day soon …

… Hmmm you know George …

I’m sure you know about the population getting older … And one of these days all these grannies will find themselves at the mercy of the younger generation … Well all I’m saying, George is that the grannies need to realize this and speak up before it is too late. Otherwise, George, the grannies might just find themselves being force-fed snake oil in their final days.

So, where do grannies begin? Glad you asked, George. Ever heard of GIQAC?

How about ORBICOM?
Which is? Oh ohhhhhh … Was is it?< Any Grannies there? Did any Grannies get invited?
Hmmmm chosen by lot? You think?

Just imagine … Nowadays … Canada is one big box George … Sort of … Ever see a real ballot box George? Not like they used to be. One time ballot boxes were made of metal.
You don’t get it do you George?

Type used to be produced with metal too. Took a little more time, more effort. A ticking clock meant there was time to think things over. Not all news all the time was about a ticking clock.

What about news outside of Canada? What about it?

World Loves

Not true …

Well I was thinking of writing about love … The expression in particular … All the world loves a lover … Probably from a song or a movie … Yes George I guess I am that unidimentional … Welll I am trying to improve my spelling George. Just this morning I tried so hard to be positive … Even to the

Painting of cup by mso

How are you just fine thank you and yourself just great

extent of trying to paint a cup in lovely warm colours … You know … Yellow pink … Not a hint … Well hardly … Of blue and purple … Guess what … Most difficult … I couldn’t see any yellow or pink or any sort of bright colours in my cup … All I could see were blues and greens and greys … So what Am I to do George?
Hmmm … Sort of like when someone ask how you are … They don’t want you to tell them how you really are. They want a cheery smile and a nice compliment. That is the real answer to the question when someone asks “How are you” Why? Because what it is, George, is not a question, but a riddle.

So, have a cuppa tea … On me.