Porridge
Well George … Does everything have a day?
Even porridge?

Seems so … October 10 th 
http://www.worldporridgeday.com/
I must remember that for next year George

I might  even have a chance to win a golden spurtle award … To tell the truth George I had not previously heard of the golden spurtle either.

Sounds even better than the golden toilet-brush award I won a few years ago.  Spoiled me.  Ever since … Well I am not nearly so excited about cleaning toilets anymore.

Spurtle-operator … Sounds almost impressive … What if I were to spread the word that I have recently become a spurtle operator? And if I were to win the spurtle award? Would I receive cards of congratulations do you suppose … Things like “so excited  for you … You must be so proud of your attainement … You see how things get better if you learn to keep your mouth shut … Didn’t I tell you things would pick up if you tried to be a bit more positive?”

Something like that … Do you suppose George? Or would it be the usual polite blank stare of utter boredom.  Would comments on this new occupation be ignored outright because nobody really honestly gives a tinker’s darn what you are doing these days.

That is … Unless it is a professional international fund-raiser where you get to wear the same t-shirt as everyone else and everybody has so much fun walking or running together to raise money to send to the charity of the day.
I say professional because such charity-events are very professional and well-planned even though they may take advantage of an army of unpaid volunteers. But guess what George? Somewhere in the charitable organizations there are often people being paid large salaries. Then there are the free trips.  These days George it is the professional charities that bring in the real money, especially if you can score a couple of lucrative board positions.

You want me to name them, give you particulars about which charities … You want documented proof? Not a report George! You don’t expect a report! Without paying me? Surely you do not expect me to work for nothing?  Hmmm no George … No board either … sorry George … Not available … I’ll be too busy operating my new spurtle promotion enterprise.