Granny

Granny Must

Granny must

  • Do something awesome
  • Have

If Granny is going to do something awesome … Maybe she needs to start working on her … Hmmm well this habit she has of stopping mid-sentence … Well pausing, if you must insist, George.

What do you mean … Pause for the cause!

That is ridiculous! George and you know it.

OH! You mean Granny is thinking about tea?

And pausing for a cuppa tea is a metaphor?

Hmmmmm …OK let’s begin again …

1. Have a cuppa tea
2. …Think Wow … a whole new day to enjoy
3. Work on the Libretta
4. Dig out that old dictionary
5. Think about costumes for rock opera
6. Play violin

About this list of Granny’s … Her must do list I guess is what it is. Might she not consider something practical?

Well … Explaining herself for a start … Nobody can get through life depending entirely on metaphors and pauses and such silly expressions as hmmmm … Can they?

And what on earth does Granny mean by TH?

Another metaphor? Meaning what exactly?

Oh, now she is waiting for the Harper? TH means “Tea With The Harper”, does it? And you say she is working on the song? Doesn’t that sound a bit too much like something … way way back … something by Cat Stevens? Different tune? I see.

7 Days to Grace

This is Granny’s next work-to-come … Granny’s own peculiar way of saying work-in-progress.

Granny will be posting a call … Pay? …  How about Equity?

 

Meanwhile, Granny is working on her Libretto

Libretto page 1

Act 1 …

Scene at Granny’s
Scene: the outside of a quaint obviously handbuilt house covered in multi-coloured patches of paint.

… On the sidewalk at the corner of the house three teens are loitering by a section of old fence over-run with vines
They find an old can hidden under the fence and begin kicking it back and forth between them

The kids are complaining that they are bored with nothing cottage,to do

*SONG (Need a song about this)

Bored bored nothing to do
What can we do
What is the use
Of a cottage by the sea
When it has
… when it has
…
When it has
No hook-up
No connection
No TV no games.

We have no connection

They look at the house
Why does this house
Not have a connection
Actually it appears as though the house may not even have electricity … No Power lines or telephone lines appear to connect to the house.
All the other house have plenty of lines and cables linking them all together (this would be obvious from images projected onto screens.

That was yesterday. Today is today. Granny needs help. Granny needs to post a call. Will anyone help Granny?
Please … Anyone … Granny wants to post a call for her Rock Opera. She has seven days. How does she offer equity? Granny has no idea how to go about this. Will anyone help Granny?

This is Day 2 of 7 Days of Grace.

Yes, day 2 and Granny discovers something about equity. It is not what she thought it was … Not an exciting positive thing at all … Really Granny would rather not be so Glum. The world already contains way way too much glum. Whooooa … Thinks Granny has this been going on for 100 years? Shouldn’t a 100 year birthday be cause for celebration?

Hmmmm …OK … Time to re-write. Time to talk about Granny-style equity … Joint venture … Partnership … Fair share ownership … That is how Granny sees equity.

Day 3
Is it day 3. If Granny gets a bit absent minded sometimes … Please have patience. She has so much to do and so little time to do it. There are so many … Too many … Causes? Some might say lost causes. Granny refuses to accept that idea. Granny has dreamed a Dream and there is no stopping her now.

While the three teens are looking at the house The front door of the house opens and in the doorway is a little old lady dressed in an outfit as multi-coloured as her house. In her hands and supported by an ornate strap around her neck is what looks like a harp but it has only a string or two.

As the little old lady moves slowly towards the three teens she strums the strings and begins to hum a strange, slightly mournful and solemn
quite unfamiliar tune but in a very loud voice, shockingly loud and deep to hear coming from the mouth of such a small woman.

Granny and the Seven Deadly Sins Bears

Once there was a Granny who went in search of Seven Deadly Sins jokes.  Of course it was not long before Granny discovered that this was really much fun. What happened was that Granny soon discovered that Seven Bears were less trouble to deal with.

The conclusion Granny reached was that 

You cannot tell the real story without naming names …
So granny asked the first bear: what is your name good sir?

The bear gave Granny a quizical kind of look and replied:
My name is Greed.

G:And what is your story?
G:what do you mean?
G:Everyone has a story.

Greed then asked Granny which story she wanted to hear. Greed was the sort of bear that often made that sort of offer because he realized that many people would only listen to the sort of story they wanted to hear.

Not a story, An opera, said Granny, I wish you help me with my opera. Tell me how I go about building a great opera … One as great as … Hmmmm … The Divine Comedy

Do you realize, responded the Bear, how very Greedy you sound?
You are asking for too much. Why do you ask for something so impossible?

G:Why impossible?
G:Too big, too expensive, too difficult … You on the otherhand are too insignificant. Imagine trusting an unknown Granny with the resources to create something akin to the Divine Comedy!

Well then … Whwt if I start with something … Let’s say along the lines of Tartuffe? Wet my slippers on that first.

You are persistant!

Well, said the Granny, I’ve a lot of time to make up for and only so many years left … Besides who else is doing anything to provide jobs. Think of all the more jobs we could provide with some project like the Divine Comedy. We might even hire John Lennon … George Harrison … Johnny Cash … Chet Atkins …

But aren’t they all gone … Somewhere … How could you include them?

There is my point … Anything is possible if you dream big. And since they don’t need the money … We’ll donate it to my favourite cause … ME!

Granny … You are just plain greedy

Imagine Granny as Queen

Just imagine a place where Granny is a queen

What’s that, George?
You wonder, do you? You wonder whether we have Grannies who are treated like Queens in New Brunswick?

Not exactly … You might say that Grannies have been the heroines … Errr that is the same as heroes … Don’t you know? …

Taking up the slack … Doing so much work … unpaid unsung and unknown … Hmmm … The Grannies might say … Somebody has got to do it otherwise it won’t get done …

What it is like … Living in New Brunswick … an NB lifer

What if all those good kind Grannies of New Brunswick were to go on strike? Who would raise the funds for all those organizations that bring hope to communities?

Would taxes go up because government had to hire more staff to take care of people in hospitals … Feed people in homeless shelters … Would there be more old folks falling out of windows in special care homes?
And who would cook the meals and nurture the grandkids while mum is off to work or school?

And who would play music in the homes and churches? Who would provide respite care for an invalid spouse or aging parent? Who would spend countless hours in a palliative ward?

Who?

Granny Gathering

Granny is not alone.  Let the Granny gathering begin.

 

So … Where are the grannies who know something

… Who knows anything about investing in food for thought? How do you choose a lemon ?

… Who knows how to find good help raising money to produce a rock opera? Can we really trust someone named Zac?

… Who knows when and when not to trust

… Who knows about trust funds ?

… Who knows the meaning of a job well done, well paying and
just as well ?

… Who can do Granny-math

… And … Who can beg!
Speak up Grannies!
What do you want?

This?
This?This?This?This?This?

This?

Or This?

Granny ConferenceMinister of International Development and Minister of the FrancophonieMinister of International Development

Yes George … Our time has … Well it should have arrived. Did you hear?  Big conference … Beginning of November … Paris, France.  Guess it is about time to get together and talk about important things … Well important to this Granny … Things like education and culture and science.  People from all across the world will be there.  Canada?  Oh yes Canada has someone speaking … Hmmmm not sure what a lawyer from Quebec has to tell the world about education, culture and science … Especially since he is the Minister of International Development and Minister of the Francophonie. … Oh well I suppose that is where the … Oh never mind, George … he may just be the closest thing Canada has to a Culture Minister Or an Education Minister.

Who is it? Glad you asked! George. Name is Paradise or something. 

 

for us …

 

Who? Who else is going?

For us Grannies! Is that what you mean? I kind of wonder too … Although he may be some sort of honorary Grannie in his own province … Lets face it … Not all the grannies in Canada live in Quebec … So who is speaking for the rest of us?
Where are all the Real Grannies of Canada? Who will be at that Conference to speak for us?

Lots of Grannies I hope! How do we get a flock of Grannies at the conference, George? You are right. Maybe the Manual has some advice to offer.

Where is that old manual … The one … You know …
THE MANUAL that goes with the Harper?

Have you heard? The Grannies are hardly able to drum up any interest in politics … Not since they discovered Granny-Hack

Where is the Grannie who might take the time and trouble to read the fine print in all those regulations and understand the nuances of statistics and explain to the rest of us Canadian Grannies just why it is necessary to have so many guests and government spokespersons speaking broken English and French on CBC. And why would Francophone contractors be hired to produce English Documentaries? Does Radio-Canada contract English speaking film makers to produce French documentaries? Quality of language in any society is only ever as good as the quality of the voices that are heard.

NewsNose

Here in Canada? How does it go? Something about No news is good news? Does that make sense.

Considering how the news is being filtered … Big Brosister you mean? Hmmmmmm 

What is a poor old Granny to do?

 

So George, what do you think?  

 

Quality Control … I think quality control might be worth looking at George. All the old Grannies of the world … after having lived so long and seen so much … Well surely grannies must have some idea about quality. How about a world-wide grannie consultation on quality control?

And since quality control begins with education. Well, yes, George. If there is no quality control in education, how do we teach future generations to distinguish between real medicine and snake oil. Grannies need to wake up and realize that one day soon …

… Hmmm you know George …

I’m sure you know about the population getting older … And one of these days all these grannies will find themselves at the mercy of the younger generation … Well all I’m saying, George is that the grannies need to realize this and speak up before it is too late. Otherwise, George, the grannies might just find themselves being force-fed snake oil in their final days.

So, where do grannies begin? Glad you asked, George. Ever heard of GIQAC?

How about ORBICOM?
Which is? Oh ohhhhhh … Was is it?< Any Grannies there? Did any Grannies get invited?
Hmmmm chosen by lot? You think?

Just imagine … Nowadays … Canada is one big box George … Sort of … Ever see a real ballot box George? Not like they used to be. One time ballot boxes were made of metal.
You don’t get it do you George?

Type used to be produced with metal too. Took a little more time, more effort. A ticking clock meant there was time to think things over. Not all news all the time was about a ticking clock.

What about news outside of Canada? What about it?

New Dawn

New Dawn

New Dawn

Those bad Grannies … Those bad bad Grannies … I just love the dear old souls.

I believe …. well being the skeptic I am …. actually there is not much I believe unconditionally … Except that I believe in Peace and Love and Justice …

However, I believe we need a gaggle of Grannies in Bathurst, Gloucester County, New Brunswick, Canada. The search is on for Grannies who want to join a gaggle and meet once a month … Well once in a while beginning this autumn.

A New Dawn … In ancient times … and modern … is a time for Grannies to get together and laugh and sing and write poems and songs and make music and dance and talk about things that matter to grannies … Well might matter if they think beyond their comfy chair ….

New Dawn

In the dawn that early morn
When autumn had begun
A granny rose from her comfy bed
To greet the early morn.

Her arms stretched out a wide spread span
As she drew from her comfy nest
When others of her kind appeared
She flew to greet the rest

See you May 2015 in Gloucester County, New Brunswick, Canada.

Meanwhile