You Don’t Say
George, do you think Granny is stuck between successes again?
A market, she says! Now what kind of a market is that? She needs more than a few vendors. The weather? Blame it on the weather? What about poor planning, George? What about that?
Hmmmm needs a special feature … Yes sign up for craft class. Reasonable rates, I think. Sign up here
Let’s see if we can find Granny a few more vendors.
If Granny is going to do something awesome … Maybe she needs to start working on her … Hmmm well this habit she has of stopping mid-sentence … Well pausing, if you must insist, George.
What do you mean … Pause for the cause!
That is ridiculous! George and you know it.
OH! You mean Granny is thinking about tea?
And pausing for a cuppa tea is a metaphor?
Hmmmmm …OK let’s begin again …
1. Have a cuppa tea
2. …Think Wow … a whole new day to enjoy
3. Work on the Libretta
4. Dig out that old dictionary
5. Think about costumes for rock opera
6. Play violin
About this list of Granny’s … Her must do list I guess is what it is. Might she not consider something practical?
Well … Explaining herself for a start … Nobody can get through life depending entirely on metaphors and pauses and such silly expressions as hmmmm … Can they?
And what on earth does Granny mean by TH?
Another metaphor? Meaning what exactly?
Oh, now she is waiting for the Harper? TH means “Tea With The Harper”, does it? And you say she is working on the song? Doesn’t that sound a bit too much like something … way way back … something by Cat Stevens? Different tune? I see.
Once there was a Granny who went in search of Seven Deadly Sins jokes. Of course it was not long before Granny discovered that this was really much fun. What happened was that Granny soon discovered that Seven Bears were less trouble to deal with.
The conclusion Granny reached was that
You cannot tell the real story without naming names …
So granny asked the first bear: what is your name good sir?
The bear gave Granny a quizical kind of look and replied:
My name is Greed.
G:And what is your story?
G:what do you mean?
G:Everyone has a story.
Greed then asked Granny which story she wanted to hear. Greed was the sort of bear that often made that sort of offer because he realized that many people would only listen to the sort of story they wanted to hear.
Not a story, An opera, said Granny, I wish you help me with my opera. Tell me how I go about building a great opera … One as great as … Hmmmm … The Divine Comedy
Do you realize, responded the Bear, how very Greedy you sound?
You are asking for too much. Why do you ask for something so impossible?
G:Too big, too expensive, too difficult … You on the otherhand are too insignificant. Imagine trusting an unknown Granny with the resources to create something akin to the Divine Comedy!
Well then … Whwt if I start with something … Let’s say along the lines of Tartuffe? Wet my slippers on that first.
You are persistant!
Well, said the Granny, I’ve a lot of time to make up for and only so many years left … Besides who else is doing anything to provide jobs. Think of all the more jobs we could provide with some project like the Divine Comedy. We might even hire John Lennon … George Harrison … Johnny Cash … Chet Atkins …
But aren’t they all gone … Somewhere … How could you include them?
There is my point … Anything is possible if you dream big. And since they don’t need the money … We’ll donate it to my favourite cause … ME!
Isn’t Seniority what rules the world? That’s what the Union folks
So they say …
In Granny World
Granny rules with love.
Granny wants Democracy Is Granny going Off her Rocker? Granny better be careful. If she gets too nosy or noisy or demanding or assertive or political … The werkers might haul her away to the Seniors’ Special Care Lock-up. Will someone please warn Granny. SHE MUST LEARN TO BEHAVE HERSELF.
So … Has Granny learned her lesson? Is she being a well behaved little Granny and sitting quietly in her rocker crocheting Granny Squares to make a nice warm comforter to give away free to some good cause. Well, isn’t that how the world expects a respectable Granny to behave?
Alas if Granny just can’t make it on her own. What happens then?
What will Granny do? Will Granny take up bad habits? Will Granny’s friends and family desert her? Will granny turn to a life of crime? Will Granny find a new hobby to keep her out of mischief?
The GU Conference of course. Perhaps the name could use some tweaking … From UG to HUG … Honourable Union of Grannies. After all, what is a Granny if not huggable?
We are now thinking about the book. If the Forward is to be written by a Granny … Who should write it?
One of the world’s many … could do it.
Oops … Sorry … Granny volunteers are no longer available.
They are looking for an instruction manual
But … Why are they on their knees?
Oh well … No doubt they have a good reason.
Soon be time to get up off those knees, Grannies.
Let the Great Gathering of Grannies begin.
Where? Canada … Where else? And why? Because Canada is about understanding. Since Grannies have great need to be understood in these trying times, then Canada is the obvious location for the Grannies to gather. Respect too is something Canada can offer.
Pension security? George says he is giving it some sober second thought.
Justice? Grannies hope so … Needing work … A real fixer-upper
Canada will do as Canada does … In culture, education, politics, health, on and on … Invite American Experts … In this case, perhaps a good choice might be the California Grannies
Canada will not fail the Grannies. Besides, Where else can you get a good cup of tea these last many years? “Only in Canada”, as some might say.
So George is reaching out across the globe to gather in the grannies. The Granny sites is where George begins his quest.
Granny-Bot… well not really a granny site except for the quote:”as Albert Einstein says: “You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.”” … So … What do you not understand about grannies? Maybe try and think of Grannies as belonging to a sub-culture or a threatened species. Offer understanding and respect not platitudes. Some Grannies might be deaf but that doesn’t mean they are dumb.
As a matter of fact or fiction, according to George the Magpie, the discovery of the Granny-Chip is just around the corner.
Canada Grannies – Lost in transit … Now that cannot be true … can it? Where are all the Canadian Senior sites? Grannie sites seem to thrive in some other countries…. Why not in Canada? Suppose it is the brand of tea we drink? That hardly seems likely … does it?
And what about Art Support? Does Canada’s Arts Community support Granny Artists? So … where are the practicing Granny Artists? Are they busy doing other things? Making invisible art? Volunteer work? Cutting red tape?
I found one nice Canadian site… Canada Gold … CARP … Not sure what the letters C.A.R.P. stand for …believe it is an organization for people 50+ in age.
The site talks about issues such as … Pension reform … Retirement security … Job Opportunities … Stable employment … Investor protection … CARP AGM tomorrow October 24th.
Grannies in … Africa A Canadian site in support of African Grandmothers.
And … anyone wishing to help Canadian Grannies produce the film, Raging Grannies a donation would surely be appreciated.
Alabama A granny who plays the piano, loves gardening and blogs so nicely.
Traveling grannies with a gypsy heart and soul. A travel guide for Grannies who dare to trek the globe alone.
South Africa Just imagine a world conference of Grannies at this delightful- sounding retreat.
San Francisco A Granny is never too old to learn something new … and here is a blog that is wonderfully colourful as well as interesting and educational.
There was a
Granny photographer from 1930s Germany who worked into her nineties. The quarter of a million pieces of the collected work of Leni Sonnenfeld and her husband Hebert were donated to Beit Hatfutsot, the world Jewish cultural museum located in Israel.
An Amity Conference sounds like something many a Granny could appreciate if she were invited to attend.
One might almost think of a Granny Convention as a whole new category. It might be nice to invite people who are not quite there yet but will be one of these fine years. Let’s think of them as Grannies in training. The more they learn about what to expect when they age, the better prepared they will be. Considering that you might spend half a century of life being a Granny, is it really ever too soon to start the training, especially if you are thinking about downsizing, and moving into one of those cozy little Granny Homes?
It might be interesting to compare the pensions of Canadian and American Grannies. Not all Canadian Grannies are Snowbirds and not all of them might have as nice a home to live in as does the First Granny
There have been many Heroine Grannies who left their home countries in search of a better life. Imagine a Grannie Convention with these Grannies sharing their stories. There must be more than one poor Russian woman who became a successful American business tycoon like the woman who might have said something like, “I dreamed that I went to a Granny Convention in my Maidenform bra”.
Library Granny There must have been Grannies Galore at the ISASA Conference held in South Africa during April 2013. Wonder whether you would say a flock or a gaggle … Guess we’d need to ask a librarian.
Peace Granny Grannies across America are knitting stump socks for amputees. Get your sock pattern here.
Voice Granny June Foray has had a long and unique career projecting the voice of some of our long-tme favourite cartoon characters. Her book is now available on Amazon.
Could there be a just causelooking for a Granny filled with Hot P and Vinegar?
What on earth! … Who let her in here?
Yes George … Our time has … Well it should have arrived. Did you hear? Big conference … Beginning of November … Paris, France. Guess it is about time to get together and talk about important things … Well important to this Granny … Things like education and culture and science. People from all across the world will be there. Canada? Oh yes Canada has someone speaking … Hmmmm not sure what a lawyer from Quebec has to tell the world about education, culture and science … Especially since he is the Minister of International Development and Minister of the Francophonie. … Oh well I suppose that is where the … Oh never mind, George … he may just be the closest thing Canada has to a Culture Minister Or an Education Minister.
Who is it? Glad you asked! George. Name is Paradise or something.
for us …
Who? Who else is going?
For us Grannies! Is that what you mean? I kind of wonder too … Although he may be some sort of honorary Grannie in his own province … Lets face it … Not all the grannies in Canada live in Quebec … So who is speaking for the rest of us?
Where are all the Real Grannies of Canada? Who will be at that Conference to speak for us?
Lots of Grannies I hope! How do we get a flock of Grannies at the conference, George? You are right. Maybe the Manual has some advice to offer.
Where is that old manual … The one … You know … THE MANUAL that goes with the Harper?
Have you heard? The Grannies are hardly able to drum up any interest in politics … Not since they discovered Granny-Hack
Where is the Grannie who might take the time and trouble to read the fine print in all those regulations and understand the nuances of statistics and explain to the rest of us Canadian Grannies just why it is necessary to have so many guests and government spokespersons speaking broken English and French on CBC. And why would Francophone contractors be hired to produce English Documentaries? Does Radio-Canada contract English speaking film makers to produce French documentaries? Quality of language in any society is only ever as good as the quality of the voices that are heard.
Those bad Grannies … Those bad bad Grannies … I just love the dear old souls.
I believe …. well being the skeptic I am …. actually there is not much I believe unconditionally … Except that I believe in Peace and Love and Justice …
However, I believe we need a gaggle of Grannies in Bathurst, Gloucester County, New Brunswick, Canada. The search is on for Grannies who want to join a gaggle and meet once a month … Well once in a while beginning this autumn.
A New Dawn … In ancient times … and modern … is a time for Grannies to get together and laugh and sing and write poems and songs and make music and dance and talk about things that matter to grannies … Well might matter if they think beyond their comfy chair ….
In the dawn that early morn
When autumn had begun
A granny rose from her comfy bed
To greet the early morn.
Her arms stretched out a wide spread span
As she drew from her comfy nest
When others of her kind appeared
She flew to greet the rest
See you May 2015 in Gloucester County, New Brunswick, Canada.
Some folks will be waving red and white flags and celebrating Canada Day. Here I am still waiting for that Irish Harper or maybe an Irish fiddler or piper to help build up interest in Irish sessions at the Doucet-Hennessy House in Bathurst, New Brunswick Canada. I’d invite the piano-player but our piano is sadly out of tune and there are no funds to tune it.
Don’t Forget You’re Irish Art exhibit opens to the public July 3. Drop by Tuesday to Saturday for a cup of tea and a chat at the historic Doucet-Hennessy House in Bathurst, New Brunswick. If you play Celtic or Acadian music or any sort of traditional folk music, we hope to have informal music sessions on Saturdays from 2-4. Bring along your acoustic instrument and join us. Music workshops are in the planning for September.
Maybe we local Artists have finally found our place on Chaleur Bay.
A new day has dawned.
Some might say
A time for change
What was it
That old man said
Be the change?
There is in memory
From long ago
A French saying
Mette la table
The spelling might
Be not quite right
I set my table
The best I can
The best I am able
With good wishes
Peace and joy
Justice for all
As I serve
What I gather
Times are changing.
2016 is almost over.
The Harper knave
All those years
While all across
This great country
Ad usque ad mare
As some might say
Bad spelling notwithstanding
Who never took a stand
For or against
For the Harper
Who never arrived.
Another year has gone by
Quickly so quickly
It is now December 2016
Much has happened
We have no place
Artists and musicians
In this place
Asking for little
Besides a safe place
To live and work.
For food they say
You must pay more
No one will tell us
Why that is.
What this world would be
Without artists and musicians.
Yes, philosophers too
And others who care …
Nobody asking questions
That need to be asked.
Yet another study?
While we languish
These last few years
While they study
Us to death.